...wishing only wounds the heart.

fancy_feet88 @ 2007-03-28T20:40:00

2007-03-29T04:40:37Z

babies are cute.

fancy_feet88 @ 2007-03-15T17:01:00

2007-03-16T00:03:09Z

gahhh today is such a good day!
why you ask?

I was accepted to:
Santa Barbara
Santa Cruz
Davis

which can add to my other list of places ive been accepted:
San Diego State
Cal Poly
University of Arizona

im 6 for 6!
just waiting for Syracuse...

gosh this is going to be the hardest decision EVER.

and sorry if that seems like im bragging. im just so excited.

fancy_feet88 @ 2007-01-15T19:35:00

2007-01-16T03:36:21Z

i wish there was a pill you could take to protect your heart
-Desperate Houswives

happy

2005-06-22T17:11:05Z

i love that feeling
when you are being hugged
and you know the hug is genuine
and that the person hugging you really likes you
and really enjoys hugging you
i love that feeling

I know this is long, but please read it

2005-06-12T05:57:37Z

We pray for children
Who put chocolate fingers everywhere
Who like to be tickled
Who stop in puddles and ruin their new pants
Who sneak Popsicles before supper
Who erase holes in math workbooks
Who can never find their shoes
Andy we pray for those
Who stare at photographs from behind barbed wire
Who’ve never squeaked across the floor in new sneakers
Who never “counted potatoes”
Who are born in places we wouldn’t be caught dead in
Who never go to the circus
Who live in an X-rated world
We pray for children
Who bring us sticky kisses and fistfuls of dandelions
Who sleep with the dog and bury the goldfish
Who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money
Who cover themselves with Band-Aids and sing off-key
Who squeeze toothpaste all over the sink
Who slurp their soup
And we pray for those
Who never got dessert
Who watch their parents watch them die
Who have no safe blanket to drag behind
Who can’t find any bread to steal
Who don’t have any rooms to clean up
Whose pictures aren’t on anybody’s dresser
Whose monsters are real
We pray for children
Who spend their allowance before Tuesday
Who throw tantrums in the grocery store
And pick at their food
Who like ghost stories
Who shove dirty clothes under the bed
And never rinse out the tub
Who get visits from the tooth fairy
Who don’t like to be kissed in front of the carpool
Who squirm in church and scream in the phone
Whose tears we sometimes laugh at
And whose smiles can make us cry
And we pray for those
Whose nightmares come in the daytime
Who will eat anything
Who have never seen the dentist
Who aren’t spoiled by anybody
Who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep
Who live and move, but have no being
We pray for children
Who want to be carried
And for those who must
For those we never give up on,
And for those who don’t get a chance
Fir those we smother
And for those who will grab the hand on anybody
Kind enough to offer

yay this is funny

2005-05-04T03:19:08Z

If you want to play...
1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions and leave the answers as comments on my LJ.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

Alans
[1] Due to Paul's answer...this is probably be one of the questions to everyone. Tell me one crazy/insane thing that you have done that you have not told anyone
----> I blew up a raft and put on a life vest and brought it into a hot tub and tried to row around.. (and this was like.. last summer. or maybe 2 summers ago...but either way i wasn't young)

[2] Whats your ultimate fantasy? (Sexual or non-sexual or something non-sexual that leads to something sexual or whatever)
----> to go swimming in a pool filled with chocolate milk.. that i could drink while swimming

[3] Name one of your oddest possessions that you're extremely proud of.
---->a bottle cap collection that began(and ended) in Kindergarden

[4] What was one of the first thing that you noticed about me? (preferably that I don't know of)
---->You act innocent sometimes.. especially when youre not and its cute.

[5] Whats the most disgusting thing you've ever done?
---->skinny dipped in a really muddy/dirty lake.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-04-19T22:15:00

2005-04-20T05:16:01Z

my day just went from EHH to WONDERFUL!

<3

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-04-10T10:04:00

2005-04-10T17:05:14Z

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical

Yay...

If you're bored:
http://www.dotphoto.com/GuestViewAlbum.asp
Username: WutUpLO
Password: (there is none)

Good morning
i'm burning a super sweet cd right now :)

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-04-09T21:51:00

2005-04-10T04:57:00Z

The drama festival at ohlone took place today as well as yesterday. I was lucky enough to be picked for finals on my monologue (there were only 6 girls our of about thirty so I guess that's pretty good)...

Anyways, being around all those truly talented people made me question my abilities. ( i know i was just talking to eric about this but...) Sometimes I feel like the moment I progress and excell in the performing arts, someone comes along doing better and being better than me. It's soo discouraging because i never get a chance...

So now im home. Mainly becuase I'm tired from waking up early this morning.
But it's 10:00
on a saturday night
my parents arent even home.

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-04-05T18:43:00

2005-04-06T01:48:11Z

I saw Hannah Bananna at lunch today at Burger King.

I'm seeing Evita tomorrow. I guess it's better than/then going to class.

3 days until Friday.
Courtney fails to give me jazz dance details since i will be attending.

Running away, let's do it.
Free from the ties that bind.
No more despair, or burdens to bear,
Out there in the yonder.

summer's on the way...

2005-04-03T07:38:05Z

Today were the auditions for Anything Goes
I felt like they went ok.. woulda been better if i didnt feel so sick...whatever tho im looking forward to seeing what happens.

afterwards everyone hung out... everyone being laura, stacey, courtney, evan cannon, anthony,jordan, jeff, and aimee. it was chill and it reminded me of summer...now that the summer show is being auditioned for it feels like summer is really on the way. and im really looking forward to it. i miss hanging out with my summer clan.

anyways im feeling really sick. i think i just have a cold, but its so hardcore. my eyes wont stop watering and gah. this is terrible and i feel terrible and it sucks.

peace out.

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-04-01T17:40:00

2005-04-02T01:42:37Z

look at the stars
look how they shine for you
and everything you do
--[you dont know how lovely you are]--

Happy Friday everyone.

Day one of my first "grounded" experience

2005-04-01T06:47:28Z

Today (as well as the rest of break) I am grounded. let's not get into details, but that's the way things are currently.

So I spent the majority of my day alone in my house, watching tv, doing homework, being online, and talking on the phone. I really don't feel as isolated as i thought i would.

again i feel like no one reads this anymore. maybe i should stop this....oh but im so addicted... i lost my voice and i feel really yuckie.

fun lyrics I found (i do have a way with finding the best lyrics for my moods):::

...maybe if i could paint a picture
of how beautiful my life is when you're in it,
we could work out
but art was never really my thing...

im sorry this is my third entry today.

2005-03-31T08:10:44Z

I have this habit that I really dislike.
I always say "I love you" to all my friends. Wether I say it affectionately or appolegetically it makes no difference, because I say it all the time. After each time it comes out of my mouth, I always think, "Why would I say that becuase in reality I do not love that person." To me, love is something so precious, so perfect, and it makes me mad that I, along with so many other people, throw the word around like it's no big deal.

It's true, I have never been in love. So I don't even know what love is, but a girl can dream...

Me and my stupid habits... This needs to stop becuase I want to save the word for someone who really deserves it.

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-03-30T17:43:00

2005-03-31T01:59:18Z

I'm alone.
It's the first time I've been completely alone for over 24 hours. My mom is visiting my sister in Boston, and I don't know where my dad is. All I know is that I am alone, and I usually love it, but right now I don't.

The past couple of days I've been hanging out with Courtney. It's been wonderfully silly. Last night Courtney, Eric, Michael Wheeler, and I went to Santa Cruz. It was the first time I've been there since summer... We had a good time. It was peaceful. There wasn't too much talking, and it seemed as though everyone was entranced by the flame of the fire we found/made...I was.

I'm waiting for Pam to come get my car becuase tomorrow it's making its big movie debut in RENT. I'm quite excited. After she comes I'm going back to Courtney's to have a barbeque which should be fun. It's somewhat settling to know that her dad likes me. :)

I haven't written in my (handwritten)journal in about a week. I have so much to say and so much to think, but I just don't feel like materializing my emotions right now. Once they are written they can't be taken back...right?

AAAAND I'm off to the Stokes again

yayayay!

2005-03-29T06:51:10Z

This evening I had some quality Courtney Stokes time. It was great since I never play with her anymore. We looked at our prom dresses (I decided on the brown one, unless anyone has any major problems with that) and then we had a photo shoot, ate soup in yummy bread bowls, gossiped, and just hung out.

It's awesome because even though we weren't really doing anything incredibly speical, I still had a great time. I think it's because Laurney had been seperated for so long. She is so completely my siamese twin and how could I ever get bored with that! (I can't.)

She also burned me the Damien Rice CD. Which was much needed for a while since Tiffany told me to download one of the songs for the mellow mix that was to be kept in my car.

Today was really just a nice day. Tomorrow I'm most definitely hanging out with Courtney and Laura and having fun as usual.

Spring Break is peaceful.

SPRING BREAKKKK! Part II

2005-03-29T00:43:55Z

Hello everyone.
So, Beau was on saturday night and it was terrific. It wasn't the best BBYO dance I've ever been to, but it was pretty fun seeing people dressed up for a change.

Lauren and I were a little bit upset/concerned to find out that ori thinks we lead guys on. That is not true and it's frustrating me. I keep replaying the conversation and it's really making me confused. not good.

After the dance we all went to Denny's in Walnut Creek. I feel like I've been to every Denny's in the bay area at leats once. I'm a pro.

Afterwards, we went back to lauren's, but it was sooo early so we dressed up and went back out to Harrison's house where a lot of people were staying. I was wearing my dress with sweats and Lauren's uggs on, a puffy green vest, and fairy wings. (not to mention i had crazy hair and dark makeup.) lauren wore her undergarments over her swets and sweatshirt and we looked sooo awesome, in a really gross kind of way. it was enjoyable and stuff..
sunday I stayed at Lauren's for most of the day. We went car shopping for her and it was ok. She wants a station wagon, which is just ugly, but if she's happy then I guess I am too. I had to drive home from p-town represent alone in the pouring rain. fun....
then I played with Courtenay and Jodie after i got home. i love them

and today i went prom dress shopping again. came home with two dresses and now i cant decide.
What does everyone think:
Brown and elegant
or pink and prom-y...
i need some advice.

breaks been pretty social. I've been catching up on sleep, which is always nice, and I've been in a pretty terrific mood. so all in all im happy and I hope everyone else is too so far! peace out

SPRING BREAKKKK!

2005-03-27T00:26:41Z

So here's what i've been up to since spring break began...

thursday night was sadies...
i went to megan's house and got all charlie's angel-ed out,a nd she did my hair hecka cute and it was fun! hehe so then janice and jesi met us there and we chilled for a bit and then went to the park (but it was freeeeezing) and thennn went to Jesi's house to say hi to her mom ( who is freakin AWESOME!) and then we finally made our way to the dance. we got there early but some people were tailgating and having a little dance party outside of their cars so went and hung out there for a bit.
the dance was pretty fun. i had a good time for the most part. yeahhh. afterwards we didnt do anything tho and that was sad, but whatever. it was a good night.

Yesterday, i woke up and then went out to lunchw ith evan at the cheesecake factory ( our favoirte place) i pretended to be his cousin... it was amazing. and then we went and shopped around urban. i bought awesome errings and sweatshirt. fun stuff. we spent like 2 hours in there... or practically.
my poor baby had a panic attack tho and had to go to the ER. hes ok now but he makes me worried sometimes.

then all today ive been dress shopping for prom. cant fne anyhting that i look good in. pew. this is noooot fun. annnnd im about to go get ready for beau which will be awesome. and thats all. i hope everyones break is going good. feel free to call and let me know what youre up to. byeee

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-03-23T20:34:00

2005-03-24T04:49:40Z

There's only one day left. I'm so excited for spring break because I'm completely worn out. I need time to rest, regroup, and play of course, so that i can be better prepared for the end of the school year. Lately I have been slacking, not studying for tests, and not even doing my homework. I don't have an excuse, so I ignore it and write it all off as if there was no problem whatsoever.
This school year has been going by fairly quickly. I almost wish it hadn't though. When the school year ends, it is just closer to loosing more people to colleges no so local. It seems as if each year it becomes harder and harder, and as much as they all will promise to call, write, or let me visit, over time it gets hard as they all will be making new friends, and new memories which will easily replace the ones they have shared with me.

Today was a good day. In my second jazz class i worked my stomach really good. I need to start getting fit again for summer. I've decided to become a red eat vegetarian. I realized that I don't really like red meat and there's no reason to have it in my diet, raising my cholesterol, when I don't even enjoy it.
I wish you all could see me at this very moment. I'm wearing sweats a sweatshirt and a big green parka from my days on a swim team. I look completely ridiculous, but at least I am cozy so whatever!
I really sincerely hope that everyone had a good day and all of those who are in Alameda County: Only one more day! And for those at Irvington: Only a half a day WITH a rally. I think i can handle this.
Peace.

happy to keep his dinner warm

2005-03-23T02:40:16Z

dont think about him anymore.

today was so blue.
listening to jill scott in the pouring rain in evans car..

but fun moment...when evan gave our orders at burger king with an accent. hilllarious...
and someone else asked me today if we were dating.
what would you all think if one day me and evan started dating?

if were both not married by the time we're thirty we're getting married.... knowing me.. and my luck...i better prepare myself for him

ms. bell says that its common for performers to have low self esteem.

my computer finally died. and usuing daddys lap top is getting quite annoying.

i took a quiz today at school to see what kind of career i should be in. it said i should be a designer...which means jobs in performing, or being on television, or being a journalist.

i would love to be a journalist.

this is random. i really dont know why ive been in the mood to write again...

i miss my friends...

peace

Am i rediculous to think the things i do?

2005-03-22T00:15:00Z

Isn't it interesting to know that i probably affect someone.
i feel so small and unimportant at times and yet, even when im not saying anything, not looking special, not being crazy or weird, im probably affecting SOMEONE...right?

also, doesn't it seem weird that someone probably knows a lot about you and you dont even know their name.
i wonder if theres someone, somewhere, who knows about me, or even has talked about me, even though i dont know them...i wonder....

ive been tired.
afriad i have mono since its going around dance. and we share everything.
ive also been feeling very lonely. sometimes i wish i had someone to talk to...

i really dont mean to be a downer.. even though evan says that its all livejournals are really for... to talk about the bad stuff in your life...

only..i wish i had the courage to tell someone in person... but sometimes the things i think are so unlike me.

dont question why i act all cheery at school or wherever i see you....because usually i dont think about those things until im home alone, or driving now...and then i don't know. everything becomes clear when im without distraction

ill probably delete this entry...no one wants to read this.

thank goodness for dancing...i would be a big ball of fire if i didnt have my dancing.. (lyrical especailly) i swear im not emo. please dont hate me?

im sorry...

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-03-20T14:36:00

2005-03-20T22:38:11Z

charlie brown was amazing. thats all i have to say.
it was especially fun seeing all the bitches
but i dunno i dont feel good
and i havent eaten anythign substantial all weekend cuz im not hungry. and wtf im teh biggest fat ass in the world and i dont understand it.
and im tired alllll time.
i could fall asleep right now
and anythign goes auditions are in 2 weeks and i havent even thought about it yet. what should i sing?
i hope everyone having a good day while i go to a foundation meeting.

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-03-19T09:54:00

2005-03-19T18:00:24Z

uhhh... sometime i dont know.
im frustrated.
i feel left out. and i feel like people find every opportunity to replace me.
i hate how you cant hate those certain people becuase they are sooo nice and so fun, but you hate them anyway. because they're replacing you. i guess i see why they all like her better than me anyways, but it really sucks.
and i feel like i dont even know my friends anymore.
and i feel like im just there when they need an encouraging word or someone to vent too but the friendship doesnt exceed much further.

gah. wtf. i was so happy and soooo glad to not care about stuff like this anymore, but even good situations create drama and it drives me crazy.

and i havent written forever. or a good entry becuase im too tired all the time and i have too much homework.
but i did comment on an entry of courtney's and it made me sad. cuz we dont even hang out anymore and some of my best memories are with her. most of them.

whatever.

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-03-11T19:03:00

2005-03-12T03:06:08Z

my february was so terrible but march is already compensating.
i got my license today! so yay
aaaand i dunno ive been sick a lot the past couple of weeks but it doesnt shake the reat mood im in write now.
shit its friday night and its time to partyyyyyy
dance competition tomorrow
ill inform you on how i do.

fancy_feet88 @ 2005-02-28T20:13:00

2005-03-01T04:18:53Z

so i really really must say that im an quite happy that February is over. ive just had about the worst month in a long time and im ready to start over and for things to start going my way maybe? hopefully....

anyways i had a good weekend at least.
i was at kesher for those who
a)werent there
b) didnt know.

i had a great great time. a lot of fun inside jokes, but im really not in the mood to talk baout it. who knows...
i met a lot of hotties.
ok fine ill talk about a few:
-im married to eli
-Thomas lies..and his dad is not from detroit?
-spooned with laurie again
-me and lauren were supposed to beat box at the talet show and sam was gunna freestyle what what!!
-drying hair with paper towels
-laurie's boobs
-me and stephanies babies. i mean boobs.
uhmm..there was tons more. who knows. i love everyone.